10 Things You Should Never Say to a Web Designer
I love my job, and the vast majority of my clients are intelligent people who know their businesses better than I do, and are able to strike a balance between taking sensible advice and asserting their wishes. But over the years I’ve had a few requests that have left me wondering why I bother. Some of these crop up time and time again. So here’s a fun look at some of the things they say:
By Adam Bradford, Director of Adam Bradford Ltd
1) Can you make this text big, bright red, bold, upper case and underlined?
Any client who asks for this usually wants multiple instances on the same page, at seemingly random intervals. People who don’t know how to subtly emphasise text tend to overdo things and take an all or nothing approach. The result is a mess of shouty text all competing for your attention. There are plenty of ways to make things stand out without resorting to this.
2) Can you make those graphics “pop” more?
Believe it or not, a couple of clients have actually said this to me. What the heck does “pop” mean? Is it some new designer speak that I’m not party to? Do they even know themselves? Search me.
3) I like it, but I’ll need to run it past my spouse
This one is guaranteed to make any designer’s heart sink. So you’ve poured your heart and soul into this design and achieved something that you’re very happy with, but now the decision rests with someone who plays no part in running the business, has no design experience and has shown very little interest in the web until now. Great.
4) I want everything visible without scrolling
A preference to put everything ‘above the fold’ is usually made by the same clients who want to put everything but the kitchen sink on their page. More text than War and Peace and dozens of graphics, boxes, forms, etc etc. How I’m supposed to fit that all in without making the text so small you can only view it through a microscope is anyone’s guess.
5) We’re going for a really “clean” look
This is another one of those annoying buzzwords non-designers have picked up on. I assume they mean it as a handy catch-all phrase for subtle, minimalist and uncluttered. On it’s own it wouldn’t be so bad, but they usually accompany it with a list of content that is so huge it can’t fail to look anything BUT cluttered. Especially if they want to see it all above the fold (see above).
6) I’m going to get my Graphic Designer to suggest some ideas for how to improve this
This one is a kick in the teeth for any Web Designer. Most people who can legitimately call themselves Web Designers are actually Graphic Designers too – those who are old enough started off in print and extended their talents online when the web was born. Given that the client’s Graphic Designer isn’t building the site themselves, it’s a safe bet that they’re not a web person and have chosen not to acquire skills and knowledge in that field. So it’s all the more galling when it is implied that their judgement is going to be better than yours.
7) Please put this giant photo above all my other content
Those who aren’t concerned about scrolling will often go to the opposite extreme and insist that overblown visual elements take centre stage, at the expense of all the real content that the search engines could have been giving them ranking for, and their customers could have been reading.
8] I want you to use justified text
Justified text is a nasty hangover from the days of newspapers, designed to make their columns look neater. You rarely see it on professional web sites, but most clients don’t realise that it doesn’t work on the web. It makes text on a screen less readable. It’s just wrong.
9) I’d like you to use my favourite font ‘Comic Sans’ for all the text
When placing text on your web site, you need to consider two things. Firstly, how does it make your business look? Is anybody going to take you seriously as a Financial Advisor/Accountant/Therapist/Insurance Broker etc if you use fonts that are more at home on a kids party invitation? Secondly, is the font you’re asking for likely to be installed on all your visitors’ computers? Because if it isn’t, their web browser will choose a default replacement, which could look even nastier than Comic Sans. (No, actually that’s not possible!)
10) Can you make the home page play this music as soon as it loads?
Background music on web pages is an abomination. It’s nearly always some nasty lo-fi midi file made on a Casio keyboard circa 1983, so how the client thinks this is going to enhance their page is anyone’s guess. File sizes will dictate that it has to loop after a minute or two, and anyone who hasn’t left by the end of the first play certainly will have done by the third. Besides, most people looking at web sites are doing it on their employer’s time and would rather their computer didn’t announce that fact to the boss!
Conclusion
I’m aware that all this might make me sound like a miserable uncompromising elitist who hates dealing with clients, but I hope it doesn’t because I can assure you that isn’t the case! I recognise that anything clients ask for is said with the best of intentions and I can’t expect my client to have the same level of experience of web design principles as I do, or I’d be out of a job! But I thought it might be fun to list some of the more misguided requests. If nothing else, I hope they gave you a laugh. 
Adam Bradford is a Web Designer, Graphic Designer and Marketing Consultant who has helped many businesses become more successful and is nowhere near as grumpy as he sounds. If you would Adam to help out with your next design project please contact him.
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3 Responses to “10 Things You Should Never Say to a Web Designer”
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Oooooh so glad there are clients out there more demanding than me!!! And I’m pretty glad I used Adam in the first place – am not sure he would say the same about me as he has experienced my diva tendencies!!
Hee hee, we love customers, they make us what we are – “miserable uncompromising elitists who hate dealing with clients” Without them we would be missing so much on so many levels!
I myself, am of course a model customer never uttering any of the annoyances we speak of, what else would you expect from an uncompramising elitist?
Ha Ha, that’s like reading an autobiography I could’ve wrote. Thankfully some spouses give you (read: me) a slap and let people do what they are good at.